I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
