got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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