Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize