guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
love makes seman taste better
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
