Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
