So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dignity is for republicans.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The air taste purple.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
