Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
