It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
