We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize