I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
