hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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