white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
