My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
