Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
