i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
