Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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