Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
