her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
