I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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