I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
