lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
