hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
