I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize