if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
