I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize