3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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