Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
