i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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