PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So many bounce houses so little time
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
