You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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