She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize