operation have a gay friend backfired
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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