Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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