somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
false alarm, still single
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