It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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