Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
