A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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