Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
