His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
