two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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