Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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