This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
