READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
