Me. At least after what I've been through.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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