Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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