Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
