I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
