We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
