She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize