no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
