A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
