she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He better not be in your backpack
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
