allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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