Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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