But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
