remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize