My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize