Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
false alarm, still single
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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