Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
