Do you still have your period?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
