Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
