Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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