theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
tell me about the eggs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
