Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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